Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
