For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
