After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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