you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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