he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
