I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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