My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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