Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
