She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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