It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
