Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
