I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
