Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
