I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
