Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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