Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
