Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
