Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
she told me i tasted like america
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
