I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
