my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
