Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
