if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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