wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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