i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
