Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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