I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize