i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
She announced her abortion via fbk
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
