Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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