it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
