Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
