at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
