Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?

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  (212): yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT? http://tfl.nu/zjw1
  Replies (28) Good night (702) Bad night (2012)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.

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  (734): I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue. http://tfl.nu/xccr
  Replies (8) Good night (1034) Bad night (3227)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out

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  (303): oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out http://tfl.nu/89b7
  Replies (16) Good night (794) Bad night (3616)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena

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  (386): i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena http://tfl.nu/u4d0
  Replies (42) Good night (7598) Bad night (768)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?

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  (540): i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic? http://tfl.nu/pwuf
  Replies (50) Good night (4602) Bad night (752)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications

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  (732): everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications http://tfl.nu/d1qr
  Replies (21) Good night (7446) Bad night (779)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor

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  (416): ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor http://tfl.nu/rb71
  Replies (5) Good night (2114) Bad night (1084)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink

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  (602): You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink http://tfl.nu/maij
  Replies (7) Good night (2059) Bad night (665)
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  (714): View more from California

  Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon

  (310): View more from California

  Fuck you.

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  (714): Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon (310): Fuck you. http://tfl.nu/u7vm
  Replies (6) Good night (2174) Bad night (579)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.

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  (410): You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple. http://tfl.nu/ksa4
  Replies (3) Good night (983) Bad night (419)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.

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  (217): Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons. http://tfl.nu/9jo6
  Replies (9) Good night (1514) Bad night (729)
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  (458): View more from Oregon

  I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.

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  (458): I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables. http://tfl.nu/1kx8
  Replies (0) Good night (778) Bad night (239)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  80% sure the drag queens carried her home

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  (212): 80% sure the drag queens carried her home http://tfl.nu/gmg4
  Replies (0) Good night (666) Bad night (286)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.

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  (301): I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again. http://tfl.nu/3xfs
  Replies (2) Good night (337) Bad night (265)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.

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  (727): You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again. http://tfl.nu/3xcj
  Replies (0) Good night (359) Bad night (307)

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