The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
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Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????