Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  omg every time its on

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  (203): have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj (1-203): omg every time its on http://tfl.nu/6fsg
  Replies (25) Good night (3211) Bad night (1181)
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  (+33): View more from France

  On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."

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  (+33): On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..." http://tfl.nu/o65f
  Replies (26) Good night (8039) Bad night (1627)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.

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  (305): After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it. http://tfl.nu/111s
  Replies (31) Good night (4001) Bad night (1618)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.

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  (617): i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar. http://tfl.nu/1t99
  Replies (7) Good night (2956) Bad night (1024)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.

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  (206): No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding. http://tfl.nu/7yg0
  Replies (14) Good night (3610) Bad night (1330)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?

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  (215): I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint? http://tfl.nu/8n36
  Replies (11) Good night (4539) Bad night (1146)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again

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  (401): I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again http://tfl.nu/o3kd
  Replies (14) Good night (2255) Bad night (812)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.

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  (604): So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk. http://tfl.nu/87wr
  Replies (14) Good night (3096) Bad night (862)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.

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  (916): If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it. http://tfl.nu/e2co
  Replies (5) Good night (805) Bad night (1126)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.

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  (610): Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls. http://tfl.nu/zc4i
  Replies (6) Good night (1118) Bad night (675)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  He asked if he could come over tomorrow....

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  (503): So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn. (503): He asked if he could come over tomorrow.... http://tfl.nu/yk5d
  Replies (9) Good night (1763) Bad night (484)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.

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  (317): Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here? (1-317): Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0. http://tfl.nu/u5j4
  Replies (1) Good night (494) Bad night (879)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat

  (818): View more from California

  You had me at first table

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  (210): First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat (818): You had me at first table http://tfl.nu/zwwm
  Replies (0) Good night (974) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.

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  (562): The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico. http://tfl.nu/31h6
  Replies (3) Good night (883) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?

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  (734): Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like? http://tfl.nu/hvex
  Replies (3) Good night (331) Bad night (179)

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