It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
