Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
