Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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