Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
