we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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