at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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