I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
