So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
