sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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