I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
