she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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