Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
