My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
