So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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