Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
