We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
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Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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