she looked like the before picture.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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