Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
