Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
