"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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