I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
