We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
