I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize