you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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