: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
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