don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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