we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
