Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
