glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
