Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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