Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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